I lost Tin Tin today. He was 16 years old.
I felt I didn’t do the most that I can.
I didn’t gave enough time to him.
Does every person feel this way when losing a loved one?
It feels like losing a 16 year old child. I brought him in when he was less than a year old. He was the size of my palm, lying on the passenger seat.
Now, he’s in the same seat but going to a better place.
And now he’s buried in the place he had the most fun.
Part of me want to find things to blame. Maybe an earlier blood test would have prolonged his life another year. Maybe an earlier IV drip. But there’s a risk that i might lose him earlier too.
I’m gonna miss the last few nights of him sleeping by my shoulder looking at me.
Am I crying because I cannot accept his departure? Am I selfish for feeling this way?
Tin Tin has taught me so much. He chewed on my new phone at age 1. I was angry but that anger was so silly if I look back. I’d rather have another year with him than the new phone.
He was a good boy till the end of days. Even when he was sick and couldn’t stand, he’d still make the effort to pee at the right places. He remembers where all the tap water was. I hope he remembers our family, the days of chasing tennis ball, and the first step onto your favourite beach.
Thank you for letting me be part of your life.
RIP. Much love, Tin Tin.